Change is Happening... But it's not all bad!

So we've all been there at some point in our life, you finally get settled into a routine, everything seems like its falling into place... And them BAM! Something in your life changes, whether that be your job, friendship circle or even relationship and it can leave you feeling lost; feeling a little bit down in the dumps and leaving you just completely unsure where to, or even who to turn to!

Recently, i've faced some change in my life and it's left me feeling most (if not all!) of the above factors and I have really struggled to know what was the 'right' thing to do in each situation. Along my 'journey', if you will, i've learnt a few valuable lessons that I believe are really important to share with you, or even just for myself when I re-read this in a few months to just pick myself back up! I hope you enjoy this post and I hope that some of these points prove valuable to you in some way! 

1) Education and the changes it brings!

This is how I felt when I left education, and the only way I can describe it in a whole is disconnected from my comfort zone. For me, i've had what I describe as a 'distant education', not distant on the learning front, but on the places I underwent it! I began nursery, primary school and high school in my hometown and this was amazing. I got to share the first 13 years of my education with the friends I grew up with which was the most amazing feeling as it gave me a reason to be excited to go to school everyday! The problem first arised in 2009 when my parents divorced and my mum moved 17 miles away to a new town and took me with her. As much as I don't blame my mum in the slightest, it began to prove to be difficult on my friendships and education as every day we had to travel just under 20 miles to just go to school. My mum always wanted me to be with my friends and still stay at the school I was comfortable with as its all id ever know! But when the end of year 11 came and it was time to leave, I was petrified. All of my friends were going to the same college, yet I was going to one in my new home town and I had to leave them all. It broke my heart and made me feel alone and like I was going to have no one to go to as my friends would no longer be there everyday. This was my first true experience of change and what it does to your mindset. I did well at school, getting 10 GCSEs all within A*-C so the movement didn't effect my overall results, but it was my mindset that was completely changed. I started college in a brand new town a few months later and I knew no one. I was completely out of my comfort zone. I have never felt that lonely in my life. I'm a very socially awkward person and I didn't know how to easily make friends as the whole idea of speaking to people I didn't know physically terrified me! However, this change in environment made me into a completely different person! I learnt how to make friends, I learnt how to adapt to new environments and I learnt that not all change is bad! When I finally processed this new situation, it was time for Uni... Most people were about to live the situation I had 2 years prior and were absolutely terrified, yet I could give them advice and tell them that they shouldn't be afraid to talk to new people, they shouldn't be scared of being disliked as you are all attending for the same reason ultimately! This was my first gradual experience with change and it built my confidence and gave me an increased positivity around change and the adventures it takes you on!

2) Work is NOT the be all and end all of your life!

As much as work IS important, as it provides us with financial support as well as friendships and amazing opportunities you can't get from anywhere else, you can NOT let work control your life as it, in the long run, will cause you issues more than pleasure. I'm 19. I did work full time in my position in a pub and it was the best role I have ever landed myself. I started 9 months ago, and in May I got myself a management role there and I genuinely could not have been happier with my achievements! As expected with the new role, my weekly hours increased from 14 to 40+ and, although it was a huge increase, I loved it because I felt like I had finally achieved something that I worked so hard towards! However, since my hours increased and I took on more responsibility within the place, I saw my relationships with EVERYBODY change - some for the best, and some for the worst and I wasn't too sure how to handle this change. In one way, I was happy as I was being respected as management and was being shown that I had a role of authority, yet I hated it because I loved my friends and I hated the change of becoming their 'boss' as it meant that I had to change my demeanour around the people I had never once said anything to in regards to their job performance or behaviour - it was a huge change. I slowly saw the increase of hours and responsibility changing me, my personality, my outlook on situations, and my reactions to other people - and I hated the new me. I saw myself changing from happy bar staff to miserable management in a matter of months, and I could not bare to see it. The one key factor that decided something needed to give, for me, was losing someone who I thought was going to be a life long friend through work and then that was it. I knew that authority was NOT something I wanted; it changes people! - and not in a nice way either... So this triggered something in my mind that told me something needed to change. My friendships were on the line and I wasn't ok about it. I went on holiday to Egypt for 11 days and I used this time to consider my priorities and where I saw myself in 5 years time. When I figured out that being bar staff didn't fall into my 5 year plan, I knew what I needed to do. When I got home, I had a meeting with my manager and told her how I felt. She was amazing about the situation and helped me out in so many ways; now here I am, still working there but happily, with all my important friends by my side and learning to love what I do, rather than loathing it. It let me see that not all change is bad! This change was huge as I went from doing 70 hour weeks, to doing 12 and having 5 out of the 7 off, being able to see my friends and my boyfriend, and most of all - being able to be 19! As much as I valued work, I let it take over my life - both socially and my work repour with people, and I just didn't want that! It is definitely the best change I've made in my work life, and I couldn't have come out any happier than I am with it! 

3) Friendships DO end... But it's not always for the worst!

In the past 6-12 months, i've seen many friendships blossom in my life. This was from starting a new job, starting University, going out more and just day to day situations! These were all people that I believed would be life long friends and that i'd never be without; ones that I would get to share my life with and create some of the most amazing memories with... Although I still have a few of these friendships, not all lasted the way I thought they would... I'll start in time order to make this post a little more chronological. The first lesson I learnt was going on holiday with my friends. It was my 18th birthday and me and 4 other friends decided to go to Rhodes to celebrate it. "What an amazing idea" was my thought process at the time as there people were my best friends through college. We spent every night together after college, all revised together through exam seasons... We were that group that you watched on tv series' that you just WANT to be in and have them connections with your friends. As we planned the holiday and time drew closer, we were all so excited to go and were FaceTiming each other constantly, talking about which outfits to take or 'do these sandals go with this top and these shorts?' We were oblivious to the idea of 'we're about to go spend 7 days in another country with each other and we don't actually know jack shit about each other's living style, their routines - nothing'. But then again, why would you think that? You're all so close and the excitement over ruled these quite important factors. As we jetted off for our holiday, things seemed so amazing and just like we had imagined them, but after around 3 days, we realised that we didn't actually know as much about each other as we initially thought. Not everyone wanted to sunbathe all day, not everyone wanted to go out every night, some of us had relationships and partners at home that we missed and wanted to speak to, and others didn't agree with it. It just became so apparent that we were all in different stages of our lives and we didn't want the same things. As the holiday went on, we realised that we didn't have as many similarities as we originally thought we did, and our priorities were completely different to the next person's. On the day we came back, we landed at around 5am at the airport, and its safe to say we haven't really spoken much since then, until around 2 months ago - a whole year after we actually went to Rhodes. We knew that we weren't ready to share our lives together outside of a college/ school environment as we were all in complete different stages of our lives, both mentally and physically and just didn't enjoy ourselves in the same way as others did. The friendships soon came to an end, and even though I was upset - these were my close friends for the best part of 2 years! - I knew I was in a different mentality to my friends, and wasn't willing to live my life in the same way that they were! And that's ok! If a friendship isn't serving you purpose in a way you want it to, then let it go. This is NOT being bitchy, or toxic - its putting yourself first. I have made more friendships since then, and made friendships that are more suited to me and I now look back and think 'i'm so happy I let them go'. Everyone is now living their own lives and appear to be happy and healthy, and I wish them all the best in their lives, but i'm glad I left their circle as it helped me learn the lesson of self-love and how to find out when it's best to put myself first!

Change is not always against you! Change is a chapter, a door and ultimately a new beginning! Embrace it, don't be scared to ask for help, do not waste an opportunity from being scared! You are amazing and you are capable of everything you dream of - from small to big! Please put yourself first, care for the people around you and make sure you're happy. If something isn't making you happy, then change it and watch the results appear in front of you!

I hope you had a good read tonight (tonight for me anyway!) Leave a comment if you're feeling talkative, and i'll speak to you soon. 

By for now, 

LCG x